Some thoughts

I try not too think too much about how painful birth can be. I think il keep it out of my mind so i don't have a build up of a fear that some women have most their pregnancy. I have had a couple people say, " Aren't you scared/nervous?" I usually answer that there is no point to being scared because it will happen either way, it won't last forever and it's just one day out of this kids life I'll have to endur this kind of labor. I will get through it just fine. Or to avoid too much explanation I just say "nope" depending on the person. Haha

Having done it naturally once I know what it's like. The last couple days I've been trying to relax my mind and actually think about when I'm in pain how I should handle it because there is no ignoring it then obviously. It's mostly a mental thing. I just need to have some good encouragement from Dustin and the midwifes saying I'm doing good and that my body knows what to do so there is no need to worry. And I have to relax my mind from any distractions that raise my anxiety or stress level to delay the process...

My hopes are that it is not as long of a labor and that we will be able to have a water birth this time. And of course that Pria will have a positive experience.
We hired a photographer that is a slight worry to me as she isn't very good at communicating or checking in. She lives almost 2 hours away and doesn't respond to me very quickly. So I'm praying she #1 shows up and #2 she shows up. So there's that...

The midwifes and videos all day it's good to make noise and moan but honestly I feel stupid and uncomfortable doing that around people. I prefer to just breathe deep breaths and try to relax my jaw because I've read there is a direct connection they doing that to open up more. But when it is in the most painful times/transition/last pushing stage I know it's hard not to be like that unfortunately.

I have two weeks left and in so done being pregnant. I dislike hearing women say they "looove" being pregnant. I don't get it. What is so fun about it?... I swear I won't do this more than 3 times. Whatever gender the third child is, will be the last one either way. I'd like to be done having kids by the time I'm 30. I don't want to be pregnant or nursing a baby for the next 10 years. I want to go on family vacations while we're still young and physically able...